Micro aggressions in the workplace – “Lets get comfortable being uncomfortable”

For many years now, I’ve had that horrible feeling, that when I spoke to someone at work or went for a job interview that something was just off with the other person I was engaging with. Or they would make a comment such as, “where are you from? No, I mean where are you are actually from!” The difficulty is that you cannot put your finger on it, so you end up ignoring it and put it into the back of your mind. Over recent years, I learnt that what I was experiencing was micro aggression behaviour and that I just never knew what it was. Micro aggressions can be explained as: Brief everyday indignities, that are verbal, behavioural or environmental and they may be intentional or unintentionally communicated to women, BAME, LGBT people or any other minority, that have insulting messages behind them, that often cause severe psychological distress and harm.

In July this year, I was honoured to be asked by the Association of Commonwealth Universities (ACU) to speak at the Association of Caribbean Higher Education Administrators (ACHEA) Conference in Jamaica on Mental Health and the impact for HR. At the conference, I talked about the impact that such behaviour can have on an individual and I likened it to getting papers cuts. When you get one you might not even notice it, but when you get 15 or 20 a day, you suddenly start to feel the pain. The other point that I made at the conference was that the role that HR plays is critical and sometimes things can be made worse by HR not understanding the challenges that minorities face, which can really have a negative impact on their mental health. I therefore made a plea to all HR colleagues in the room to “bring the human back into Human Resources.” The problem with micro aggressional behaviour is exactly what it says on the tin, it is micro and sometimes so subtle that the person is left feeling that they must be oversensitive.

Over the years, I have personally seen and been subject to indirect and sometimes direct micro aggressional behaviour, both in the workplace when holding senior management positions, but also in trying to get up the career ladder. What I am talking about are the inner challenges that people from minority backgrounds can face and have to go through every day, but tell themselves to keep going. Every time this happens, another part of you gets chipped away and sensitises you to believe that you do not belong. For example, I have lost count of the amount of times I have been mistaken for being the most junior person in the team. I am sure these things are not said or done with malice or intent, but never the less they have an impact.

The person displaying the micro aggressions will sometimes not be aware what they have done, which can make it more infuriating. The fact is that when someone experiences this on a regular basis, over time they start to really feel the effect and can have a negative impact on performance, motivation and as mentioned their mental health. It also sends a clear message to the individual experiencing this, that they do not belong. This may be in an office environment, in an interview or generally in everyday life.

How to respond if you experience this

OK, how do you respond if you are subjected to these micro aggressions? Taking a breath is the first step in figuring out your response. Stay calm.

Then, decide if you want to talk with the person about what happened. It may be appropriate to do it in the moment, but it may not be. It’s important to recognise that power dynamics can be at play here, so if you do decide to confront someone, you want to be sure you feel safe enough to do so. If you don’t feel comfortable to confront the person, you could speak to a colleague, your line manager or HR.

If you decide to talk with the person:

• Be clear that it isn’t about calling someone a racist or sexist, it’s about the act and/or words. Once you call someone a racist or sexist, the conversation may stop. If you focus on the action, it’s something that can be addressed.
• Relay that this isn’t about shaming or blaming, but that you’ve come to this person because you wanted to express that you were hurt and perhaps that you value the relationship enough to have the conversation.
• Ask how the person is feeling after you’ve shared the impact of their actions.
• Wait and listen. Understand that you might not get the reaction you want. If the person is defensive and wants to make it about “having a laugh”, you can try to have a deeper conversation, but again, it’s about your comfort level.
• Accept the outcome and move on. However it plays out, you’ve done what you can to address the issue.

Micro aggressions communicate negative or hostile messages that are based solely on the person’s perceived marginalised group membership. Even though the recipient is the one who may feel that the message is hostile, it’s the obligation of all of us to make sure we avoid actions and using language that could be interpreted as a micro aggression. We need to start to discuss these issues and “get comfortable being uncomfortable”.

Umar Zamman is Director of the Eleanor Glanville Centre and Head of Engagement, Equality & Organisational Development at ACU member university the University of Lincoln, in the UK. He is also UK Country Liaison for the ACU HR in HE Community.

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